Baby Talk

Having a baby? Just got home from the hospital and hate everything you bought? I happen to LOVE baby registries and baby items in general, so I have collected ideas over the years to make this guide. I am not claiming to know all (or really anything), just what I personally have experienced, what I would change, and what I suggest to you.

Items that have made my mama-life easier (aka: Livesavers!)
-Pacifier clip: does it require an explanation? and for bedtime, Pacificer holders that don't pose an entanglement danger. The baby can find it at night now, hallelujah!
-Formula pitcher: you might say, "That's ridiculous", but I can name many reasons why I love it
-10 pack of bibs-that-can-get-dirty:  I love this set because they are cute and are nice and stretchy instead of stiff. The really adorable/pricier ones look awful when they get stained with formula, so I save those for corresponding holidays (My 1st Easter) or when people visit ("I heart Grandpa")
-Summer Infant Swaddler. See my blog entry here.
-Shout Advanced gel spray gets everything out. I am not going to go into what "everything" entails, but trust me. I tried a few other stain removers and this is the only one that works!
-Orajel natural: When we started teething around here, a squeeze of this on her pacifier immediately calmed her, and I like that its all natural ingredients of course!
-Take and Toss bowls: I have yet to "toss" any, but now that Larkyn eats larger portions and takes snack on the go, we use these all the time.You can buy them almost anywhere.

Pregnancy

Preparing yourself 

1. For the love of...well, your sanity...take a nursing class if you plan on nursing! I consider this as my biggest mistake during pregnancy. Because all of my close friends nurse(d), I stupidly thought "It must be easy!" I was not prepared at all. I had no idea how to nurse, the challenges that come with nursing, or how upset I'd be if (and when) it didn't work. Well, it didn't work for me and I wasn't equipped with the knowledge to do anything about it. Larkyn is a happy little formula baby, but I regret that she could have been nursed if I was prepared.
2. Go hang out with some newborns and pay attention.  I can wrangle 40 kindergartners, but never cared for an itty bitty until I had my own. I watched carefully or asked my friends to show me how to bathe them, swaddle them, and also how to use things like the travel system and monitor. Even with these "lessons", we still have funny stories to tell about Larkyn's first bath and not being able to remove the car seat when we brought her home!
3. Take a childbirth class WITH your partner. This class definitely helped Matt understand what was about to happen and how to help me. It was not quite as beneficial for me, but invaluable for dads!
4. Download an app for contraction timing. A few weeks before, I watched someone else (who was having contractions) keep it all on a piece of paper!  She had to jot down the time each one started, how long it lasted, and when i was over. All the math and time this required had me thinking that it didn't need to be this difficult!  Matt found an app called Contraction Timer, which saved us come April 20th! When I realized the contractions were "for real", all I had to do was touch the green button when one started, and the red when it was over. The app logged in my entries and I could clearly see when they hit the magic numbers: 5 min apart, 60 seconds long, for one hour.
5. PLAN FOR FOOD AFTER BABY IS HOME!  I tried to do this, but it didn't work out so well. I don't think the grandmas thought I was serious. Don't go to that hospital until your kitchen is full of food (unless you need to, of course:o)  True story...we got home from the hospital and Matt made the mistake of asking, "What's for dinner?" Although he didn't expect me to slap on an apron and cook up a big feast (who are we kidding), we literally had nothing for dinner. I kind of thought it would just appear by the magic of grandmas, but I had not been specific enough to actually say when I wanted food. Take this opportunity to maybe a look a little bossy and make a schedule. For my second baby, a sweet friend created a meal registry for me.
6. DO NOT WASH ALL OF BABY'S CLOTHES! I don't know where in the world this idea came from, but to take all of the tags off of clothes is insane to me. And to wash things more than you need to? I know there is a fear of baby having a skin reaction to new clothes, but if that happens, then you know you have to wash them. Keep the tags on, because you can resell or gift all the clothes they don't wear (which was a TON for me!)

Registering

1. Register at 2-3 places. And make sure you have a mix of online and storefront options. One group of my friends loved the convenience of ordering off of amazon.com. The rest of the crowd liked the convenience of stopping at the actual stores when they were nearby. Everyone has their thing, and it will work out well for you if you give options. Here in Columbus, I had an exceptional experience at Buy Buy Baby and Pottery Barn Kids at Polaris.
2. Save all the coupons you find!  Almost all baby retailers take competitor coupons, so don't toss them just because you aren't registered there.
3. Almost every place has a completion discount that you can use to buy things yourself. There is a catch!  The discount does not start until after your "event" date. So, if you make your event 4/21, you cannot use the discount until 4/21! The nice people at PBK let me change mine to 4/1, which saved me a bundle on furniture, etc. 
4. Speaking of options, revise, revise, revise! I was probably too obsessed with revising my registry, but it helped me to receive the quantities and products that I actually needed. If I saw that several people were buying bath accessories, I deleted the rest of them (if they weren't necessary) so that I would receive other things that were necessities. 
5. Necessities? What are those? Let's talk about things I wish I would have registered for or at least purchased for myself if I knew their importance!
1. Bibs! I registered for a ton but I think they were too hard for people to find the exact ones I registered for (there are a zillion of them, I understand). But going into feeding with only 2 bibs was not good. For some reason, I was thinking "No big deal, they don't need bibs til they can eat and are sitting in a high chair". OK, YEAH, if you want every single piece of clothing to be stained with formula.
2. Pacifiers! The fantastic people at Buy Buy Baby give you a goody bag when you register, which was happened to have one pacifier (and one of my two bibs!) Right before Larkyn was born, I grabbed a 2-pack of the same pacifiers, bringing my total to a whopping 3. Ha! I probably spend an hour each day "Bink hunting". Find one your baby likes and go buy 10 of them!! (or--get the pacifier clip and this problem is solved!)
3. If you are using formula, TWO dishwasher baskets, and neither of them Dr. Brown's. That basket is like a puzzle. You can put the bottles straight into the dishwasher and throw 5 billion pieces in here as well as spoons. 
6. I'd suggest keeping the tags, receipts and packaging for everything. I had several items I never used and was able to return them later for things I knew we needed:
1. Bumbo seat: She just really didn't like it. And with Rhys, he fell forward in it, so I would never suggest them to any of you, actually. Thank God he was on the floor because I never trusted that thing!
2. Infant towels: I wish I would have known this. Ours ended up being terrible quality and shredded in the dryer. Beside that, your baby will outgrow them before their first birthday. One of our few luxury items I will push is the Pottery Barn Kids Bath Wraps (rather than Nursery wraps). We get by alternating 3 of them between the 2 kids.

Symptoms

1. Here are some blog entries tagged with "symptoms" that may help, or at least let you know what my experience was. 
2. There will be times when you definitely freak yourself out, and try not to let the internet perpetuate your fear. Too often, I would run to the internet to diagnose myself and be even more worried than before. I found it more helpful to look up information and questions in my pregnancy books, call my friends, or save questions for my nurse or doctor. 
3. While your friends and others' experience may be similar to yours, your pregnancy will go at its own pace and could be entirely different. Though it might sound strange, I was upset by others' comments on how "small" I was. This really got to me about halfway through my pregnancy and I had to take a step back before I snapped at someone or had a nervous breakdown. I had to remember that the only opinion that really mattered in the end was of my OBGYN.
4. During the last 2 months or so, if I pushed myself too much, I paid for it!  Bending over to pick up after my kindergartners or emptying the dishwasher, picking up laundry baskets, or carrying groceries were often the culprits. I found little ways to hint to others that I needed help with those things, and they were happy to help with these simple tasks. Otherwise, I actually experienced Braxton-Hicks or just felt "yucky" for a while.

Documentation

1. Start from the very beginning, saving, writing down, and photographing it all! Even silly little things will have meaning once the baby comes. I have things in all different spots, which might seem disorganized, but it worked for me:
1. The baby book is where I kept ultrasound photos and recording information about Larkyn's birth once she arrived. I made my own, based on this sample from my favorite blog.
2. Shutterfly share sites and books are where I kept all the photos along the way and shared them with friends and families.
3. A memory box is where I keep all of the mementos that don't exactly fit into a book. Inside Larykn's, you can find:
1. All 3 of our hospital bracelets
2. The hat from the hospital, along with all the "things" used in the delivery room
3. Cards that arrived after her birth
4. Random photos that didn't have a "home" in her baby book
5. Newspaper from the day she was born and with her birth listed in the vital stats. This is a good job for grandparents! And, we learned that if your treasured papers happen to get thrown away be an overzealous cleaning PawPaw, major newspapers keep several copies at their headquarters and will give them to you for free!
   

To-Dos

1. It helped me to make a Word document, based off of the to-do lists from various websites and items that I thought of almost daily! I kept the Word document open on my computer desktop and modified it as needed. I split the list into 8 months and listed items to do each month. Then, I crossed them off (using the "strikethrough" tool, and highlighted things in red that still needed to be completed. Because this list was on the computer, it was easy for me to copy and paste various links. 
2. Share your list! When I published an abbreviated version of my to-do list on my blog, my loving friends and family saw how they could help and jumped right in. It was great!

The nursery

1. I might be in the minority of women absolutely obsessed with decorating a nursery. I have been thinking of ideas for YEARS. If yo haven't already, start up another Word document, or better yet, a pinterest site to keep all these ideas in one place.
2. Once you find inspirations, see if you can DIY them. And then, in my case, buy all the supplies, decide it is too much trouble, and register for the real thing:o) Almost everything I found at Pottery Barn Kids could be googled with the words DIY and someone has made a tutorial!
3. Let your partner in on the decisions. Or, you narrow down the choices to what you like, and give him the final choice every now and then. That way, you know it is going to be something you already approved, but he gets to put some ownership into the nursery. Ownership translates into wanting to help later on when things need hung, re-painted, rearranged, etc. and your belly prevents you from doing it yourself!
4. Etsy, etsy, etsy!  I didn't want Larkyn's room to "scream" Pottery Barn (or anywhere else). I wanted it to be a collection of coordinating items rather than something that anyone could duplicate. My answer was Etsy.
5. I found this out later and it might seem trivial/silly. But it makes my day. Due to some awesome hand-me-downs, I have 4 different colors of crib sheets. Changing that one thing about the room makes it look totally different, and I love that once a week, her room has a (slightly) new look.
   

Here comes baby!
Labor/Delivery

1. Contractions feel different for everyone! They were described to me as "tightening" and your abdomen hardening up. Nope. For me, they were pains radiating from my spine around to my belly button. They were pain.  Because of my situation the night before (thought my water broke and the exam that determines whether or not this is true causes cramps), I thought I was having cramps like the nurse predicted.
2. Stay at home as long as possible. Many people talk about "walking the hallways" or being sent home because they weren't quite ready. After a day of doing normal activities (taking the dog to the vet, getting a few groceries), I arrived at the hospital in Active Labor. Which means they take you directly to your room to get the party started!  I was so much more comfortable in my own home for all those hours.
3. I took a shower to relax and make myself feel decent before we left. I learned this from Bethenny Frankel in the episode when she had baby Bryn!
4. Follow your nurse's lead (unless you are someone who really knows her delivery facts and figures, which I was NOT). Every time she asked me if I'd like to start something new (pain meds, epidural, etc.), I asked her for her opinion and followed what she said. She does this 10xs a day every day, and she did not lead me astray. My labor was incredible and stress free. 
5. Have a plan of who will be in the room, and make sure everyone knows it (including nurses)!  Looking back, I don't regret that the grandparents were there for delivery, but at the time, it was not the plan. And its a little awkward to ask people to leave, especially when your mind is happily warped with painkillers.

Hospital Stay

1. Become BFFs with your nurses. Maybe mine were extra nice people to begin with, but I don't think my politeness and following the rules hurt my chances at extra graham crackers and help with nursing 678 times.
2. Have someone in charge of bringing lots of snacks! I am the weirdo who loved filling out my meal choices and pretending it was room service at a hotel, but I definitely needed the snacks my mom brought. It was also nice for visitors so they didn't have to find the cafeteria.  Also, another reason to take the hospital tour: Until late my last night, I had no idea there was a "kitchenette" stocked with snacks and meals for patients and their families right down the hall!
3. You may not need half the stuff you just packed in your hospital bag. I packed like I was going on vacation because I love packing, but here are my thoughts on what I brought:
1. Matt brought my camera, laptop, Flipcam and all their cords. It was fun to be able to send out pics and videos from the hospital. 
2. I bought an entire pack of underwear from Target, hearing about them being "ruined". Umm, you won't be wearing "panties" for a few days. You will have fabulous mesh ones filled with a giant pad and a frozen smaller pad, and you will love it! You don't need actual underwear, but maybe bring one pair for going home if you prefer. 
3. Clothes...I was very comfy in my hospital gown the entire first day. It was soft, pink, and had an actual back to it, so I was fine! I wore a nice-looking pajama set (it had a tank, robe, and pants that didn't really look "pajama-y"). This was perfect for pictures and to receive visitors and was comfortable. Then, I had one going-home outfit that consisted of maternity yoga pants and a knit shirt, so if I had pictures taken, I'd look like a kind of tried:o)  Don't even think about non-maternity clothes. They have no place in your closet for another month!
4. I thought I'd read magazines and was sad that I didn't have time to buy any. Turns out, a baby and visitors will keep ya busy! And if you do get bored, which I do easily, there is a TV and you'll have your laptop. Save some trees and skip the magazines.
5. Toiletries--I brought 'em all! Because I showered before I came to the hospital, my hair looked ok in the ponytail for the first day, but when I woke up the second day, I couldn't get in the shower fast enough!  Having all of my things there made me happy, all the way down to my detangler and eyeliner. If you are like me, you'll be cranky if you leave something at home for your beauty regime:o)
4. Lots of people will advise you on the whole "rooming in" deal. Basically, each night, you have a choice whether your baby sleeps in your room overnight or goes to the nursery. Everyone has their own opinion. I was so obsessed with Larkyn that I couldn't stand the thought of her going away just yet. Each night, I started with her in the room, and each night she ended up in the nursery sometime after midnight. You see, you will have nurses come to check you all the time (I had no concept of time, so I'm guessing every 2 hours?). When these nurses see you exhausted from trying to figure out how to make your brand new human fall asleep, they will sweetly suggest that the baby sleep in the nursery so you can catch some zzz's. I hated sending her there, but we both got sleep that way, and I cried happy tears when they rolled her back in every morning. Hormones. 
5. Find out what you are allowed to take and take it! Our nurse said we could take everything but the swaddling blankets, so we scored a Halo sleepsack, 2 teeny snap shirts, lots of size 1 Pampers, and all the bath supplies they used (basin, bodywash, knit hats, scrub brush). Oh yes, and the giant pads for Mama that would cost you at the drugstore. You'll also get some sort of free gift, which will probably include the formula that saved our lives when we went home.

Bringing home baby

Feeding
I think I've made it clear that nursing did not work for us, so I can tell you a bit about my experience with formula and bottles.  

1. First of all, they drive me crazy. Even with 6 of them, I feel like all I do is wash bottles! When the dishwasher happens to be full and I can throw the bottles in there, it is the highlight of my day. As much as I love the Dr. Brown's bottles and have found them to be great for Larkyn, I might have gone a different direction if I knew how time-consuming bottle-washing would be. The "other direction" may have been the Playtex Drop-ins, which have worked for friends of mine. They are supposed to simulate nursing because they deflate, and you just toss the liner each time! This is not as "green" as I'd like, which is why I won't do it, but consider it if you have little patience for repeated tasks!
2. My baby is a lukewarm bottle drinker, which puts us in the middle of convenience. I don't need to heat her bottles, but I can't just pull one out of the fridge. I suppose I could make her deal with it, but she drinks much slower and looks uncomfortable the entire time I feed her if it is cold. My low-tech but easiest solution? a mug of hot water! Drop it in there and go do something useful (or not) for 5 minutes. 
3. I switched to level 2 nipples when she turned 3 months. She was probably ready before that but I didn't realize it. When baby starts fooling around during feedings rather than focusing on the task, try going up to the level 2. It also cut feeding time in 1/2! Level 3s came at 7 months and were not as easy of a transition.
4. I make my own purees and wouldn't have it any other way! Check out my page on using the Baby Brezza and see how easy it can be to make fresh food yourself.

Sleeping

1. Again, I am not bucking all the advice my dear friends and family have given me...I welcome it! But different things work for different people. Every 3rd person told me for 9 months to "Sleep when the baby sleeps". Makes sense. I have been blessed with a baby who sleeps at night, so I am not as sleep-deprived as I expected. Therefore, when Larkyn sleeps, the last thing I want to do is sleep!  These are the tasks I never seem to have time for anymore, so I dash to do them when she is napping:
1. Personal hygiene!  If she is awake, I never can string together enough time to shower, detangle, moisturize, dry, straighten, and put on makeup!  So, those things often don't take place even in the same day anymore. Sad, I know. The hair has taken a huge hit. 
2. Fun stuff like this. Blogging, catching up on emails, or anything else that requires 2 hands is not possible with a baby in hand. Well, it is, but its not pretty.
3. Cleaning. I'll sit while I am feeding her and assess the "situation" (yes, said like the Jersey Shore character) that is our house. I will pick one thing to tackle and do it as soon as she has nodded off. 
2. Have a back-up plan for where baby will sleep when he or she comes home. We were lucky that Nana and Paw Paw could run out and get this for us when we decided we wanted Larkyn to sleep in our room at 8:00 the night we brought her home. 
3. Don't be afraid to be noisy!  I have heard that my child is not unique in her fondness for background noise. Apparently, they hear everything from inside the womb, and combined with the swooshing of fluids and your heartbeat, they are used to it!  Of course, she will startle at sudden sounds, but running the vacuum, having the TV on, or the dishwasher running is not a problem. Remember, we have a tiny house, so everything is within earshot. Silence is not happening.
4. At 6 weeks, I attempted the swaddler again. After trying it once in the hospital and thinking "She hates the swaddler", I tried it again and she loves it! This is how she goes to sleep and I dread the day I can't swaddle her anymore. 

Bathing 

1. Anyone who was in the house when I attempted Larkyn's first bath will attest: I am not an expert. All I can tell you is what I have learned (like everything else here). Just remember that when your baby is screeching the first time you try this. My mom loves to compare how "similar" Larkyn is to me in this way...but it gets better.
2. Don't even think about attempting the first few baths alone. Nana was present for the first, Grandma for the second.
3. Have everything ready: the washcloth, towel, a rinsing cup or basin, and a dry diaper.
4. This is for the sponge bath only. You only need to do this until the umbilical stump falls off (which happened accidentally by a too-tight gown on Day 3. It was a blessing...
1. Make sure you and your helper are wearing something that can get wet. Put a towel on the floor. Take baby into the warm bathroom and undress them quickly! Hold the diaper over their bottom for a few seconds, because they might pee when the air hits them.
2. You hold the baby close to you while your partner uses a warm washcloth and baby wash to start washing. Start with baby's head and work your way down. Pay close attention to neck rolls and the diaper area.
3. Baby is probably screaming by now. Stay calm.
4. Time to rinse quickly!  Use clean warm water and the washcloth to rinse it off. The baby wash is so mild that it really doesn't need rinsed that thoroughly. In the hospital, I noticed that they didn't "rinse" her at all. 
5. Your partner can throw everything in the sink and grab the towel to warm baby up! You are done!
5. When you graduate to tub baths (so much easier!), it is much easier. Just remember to have everything ready in the tub area before you undress baby and plop her in there. My tub has a handy dandy "thermometer" so I know when the water is the perfect temperature. Now I use the wash basin to fill with clean water for rinsing. She is only in the tub for about 2 minutes total! 
6. I think the thing that made baths pleasant for Larkyn was laying a warm washcloth over her chest throughout the bath. That was the game-changer. So, we use 2 washcloths for bath time.

Visitors

1. I loved having visitors!  After about 2 weeks, it gets a little exhausting to keep the house looking nice (and control your crazy dogs, if that applies). So, I would suggest spreading out the visitor schedule! It worked well for me to have visitors come at the same time or to make sure I always scheduled them in the late afternoon. In the morning, there is just too much to do to get ready!
2. When you get the amazing visitors who will do things like cook, clean, or take your dog to the dog park, make sure they know how much you appreciate them! Whether it is a hug, a "thank you" that you mean, or a thank you note, text or email, they just did you a huge favor.
3. Take pictures of baby with her visitors! I regret not getting pictures of everyone, unless they specifically asked me to take one. I wish I would have started a little guest book with photos so that Larkyn could start identifying her friends when she's a bit older.  

Clothes: Here are some of my preferences (which you may or may not agree with)...

1. For the first month, she lived in sleepers. Preferably Carters sleepers that ZIP. Onesies were a horrific mess to put over her head and it was too cold for them.
2. My baby fit into newborn clothes well into her second month. So for us, a good supply of newborn clothes was necessary. We had one big layette of mix and match from Carters, the sleepers I mentioned above, and maybe 4 cute "outfits" from JC Penney's American living (Nana found great deals on adorable stuff!) collection. Plenty!
3. As far as pajamas go, Matt picked up several Faded Glory onesies from Walmart. They are less than $3, are so soft, and slip over her head without fuss. We swaddle her in the Summer Infant cotton swaddler. If we have the AC on, I'll put her in a Carters sleeper.
4. Just as a note, we have a ton of Carters onesies that don't get much wear because they are too hard to get over her head!  They are cute as can be, but the Gymboree and Faded Glory ones are so much easier on her. Her head is in the 50th percentile, so she's not an egg head! We ONLY buy things that have envelope necklines, snaps on the side, or best of all, a few snaps up the back.
5. We hit up Gymboree during the Big Red Balloon sale twice in the last year (semi-annual). Some mamas shun Gymboree for their prices, but most of her cutest outfits are from this sale and cost less than $10 apiece!)  The catch: its all out of season, so you buy ahead. I just got her $49 satin Christmas dress for $6.99!

I'm loving being a Mama, but if you have suggestions on any of the above, lay it on me!